the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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