one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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