she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
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the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
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I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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