You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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