Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I wanna passion pit in your ass
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
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and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
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Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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