That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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