ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
