guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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