I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
