Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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