It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
