Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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