sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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