There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
