just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
