I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
