actually, I'm a sock model
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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