Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize