dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Randomize
