we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
