I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
