Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
