You just made me feel so damn special
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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