Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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