You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I look better un-naked...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
