Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
