At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
