I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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