I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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