well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
