I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...