He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
