Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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