i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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