Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
