just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
