this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize