no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
