Whod you bang
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary