You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
