i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
