I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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