You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
