3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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