by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
