Can i not drive my cunt home
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
