we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
