You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
