a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
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I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
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holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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