been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
do herpes really smell.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
