just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
this is an emotional support booty call
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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