I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
