Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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