Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
