No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I think my vagina is haunted
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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