making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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