I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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