I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
