I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
